Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
