The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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