My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
