kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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