she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
