the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
