he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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