don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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