it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize