i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
