we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Michael Bay diarrhea
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
