All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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