I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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