well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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