Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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