every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
