I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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