I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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