At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
