I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
