Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
