I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
wanna go halves on a baby?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize