i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
