i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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