Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
