She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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