Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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