just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
