Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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