Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
