I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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