There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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