I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
