I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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