There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
