I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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