Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
