I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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