apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
