you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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