My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
