I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
