Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I could make wine with my vomit
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
