So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hippo gnu deer
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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