Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
