speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
