I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
home. puking in laundry basket.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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