i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
