I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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