got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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