Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
