dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
