I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
