now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This girl is more easily done than said...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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