i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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