so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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