i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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