He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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