i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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