Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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