Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
